When William was about Rosa’s age (10 months) a friend said to me “it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do isn’t it?” and I remember thinking is it?
William was such a good flexible baby he fitted so well into our lives that I can’t say I ever really found the shift into motherhood very hard.
Roll on 4 years and we have 2 kids, 3 businesses, a cleaner, a nanny, a gardener, a whole freaking entourage to help and I would whole heartedly agree it is the hardest thing I have ever done.
But I love it and in the theme of mother’s day (and because I don’t get out that much so don’t have much else to blog about) here are my thoughts on being a mother in business.
Now please let me just be clear if you don’t have kids this is still for you too, there is lots to learn from my kids (you will just have the gift of implementing the advice without having banana down your shirt).
So let me fess up and tell you what really goes down inside my house (and heart) and what my kids have truly taught me.
First up – Everything is perfect.
I would love to tell you that my house is always super clean and tidy, that my hair is always washed and that my newsletter goes out to my list on time every month but that wouldn’t be the truth, so in the name of integrity let me paint you a truthful picture.
My house is covered in toys……..car seats, Jumparoos, Batman caves and what had once been cream marble tiles is now covered in Peppa Pig foam mats.
I have grown my sleek city bob out so that I don’t have to wash my hair every day and can wear it in plaits. I don’t wear make up and I need a week’s notice if guests are coming round so that I can make us all look like we are ready for them.
I never sent a newsletter in February as I didn’t have time where my hands were free enough to type and the speak/type application on my ipad kept swearing without being prompted!
I set an intention to do 40 days of Yoga; I heard that if you post an intention to social media it is a sure thing to keep you held accountable. I made it to day 3 and I just couldn’t find the time.
I could think negative thoughts, I could complain that my house is messy, that my Yoga mat misses me, that my list is annoyed with me – but I don’t.
I have made a commitment to my kids it is a bond that can’t be broken, it means I have stopped caring about looking perfect, I care more about being loving, and I have found it so freeing to live in this way.
Now please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying become a slummy mummy but what I am saying is this….if you are trying to be perfect in very area but are struggling DON’T sweat it, you are just one person. You are not loved because you are perfect; you are loved because you are loveable.
Perfectionism is a modern day crisis for so many women; I meet people every day trying to get it all right. Trying to be everything to everyone all at once, to look perfect and juggle the house, the job, the staff, the money.
I meet business owners who are stuck, they can’t take action because they are scared of stepping out being visible making a mistake and people seeing that they aren’t really perfect.
My kids have taught me to relax, do what you can, enjoy the journey, enjoy the chaos, let people in and share the fun.
I also know that being a mother is part of a divine plan that is working out perfectly. I am being forced to re write my own rules.
Before I had the kids I had a clear strategy for financial success I called it working your ass off.
But with the kids that just isn’t the option, so I have had to find new way of working, I have had to work on working smarter, offering more value, raising my rates. If I hadn’t done this work my kids would have suffered and my commitment to them is too strong.
So I have got out of my comfort zone and done the inner work needed to show up and grow my business without working 30 hours a week.
I believe this as a lesson we can all take into our lives a message that heads of corporations, governments and business owners worldwide should be hearing – you can earn more when you do less if you are really committed. Committed to living a life without sacrifice, committed to building a business and growing a family, committed to living your life on your terms.
A new economy can be born with these babies.
My kids teach me to work less, to play harder and encourage me to allow things to get really good.
The other day on the beach, I thought to myself, if I could wish for anything for the babes for when they are older what would it be?
I knew the answer was to be free, to work less and feel alive.
I know that too is my wish for myself and I am committed to living it out.
I know that I am making a path where my kids can experience this as the new norm, life isn’t perfect but life is so good.
Happy Mothers Day to all women, go forth and birth your greatness.